I Will Choose to Trust

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
  When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
  When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
  I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You. “ -Lauren Daigle  “Trust In You

I love music! I love listening to it, I love reading the lyrics and hearing the stories that inspired the songs. I love to sing, (however little side note here…I can.not sing…like at all…so my apologies to those of you who have had to sit by me as I belt it out…but just know…it will continue.) it is one of my favorite ways to worship God. So it is no surprise to me, that many different circumstances will bring a song to my mind and God will use it to draw me deeper into Him.

In this song, I think it’s a pretty safe assumption to say, “Yes, we’ve all been there”. In those waiting stages, whether big or small, moments or seasons of life where you are asking God to give you direction or open a door and He doesn’t seem to be saying “yes” or “no”. Or you have been praying desperately for something, for Him to move those mountains and He answers with a “No”, or “not yet”, or “wait on My timing”.

Those are hard answers to swallow.

When we pray, we want quick answers and not just any ‘ol answer but the answer we think is best. The answer that is easiest for us, that will cause us the least amount of pain but still bring Him honor and glory. What happens when we don’t get those quick, easy answers? Are we still diligent and consistent in our prayer life?

I think the question that we need to ask ourselves is: What is the main motivator behind our prayers?

We got to share a little bit of Hannah’s wrist injury with a few of you, when we were back on furlough. However, for those of you who don’t know, let me give you the short version of the last 20 months.

Not long after we moved here, maybe nine or ten months in, Hannah fell and fractured her growth plate on her right wrist. Now, can I just say with having two full of life, full steam ahead boys, I didn’t think Hannah would be the first to break something or have to have surgery, but as we know life is full of surprises…well, surprises to us but not to Him. So back to the story….we went to a local private clinic and had it x-rayed and a cast put on. We come back, a couple of weeks later, to get another x-ray and hopefully the cast removed. Come to find out, it was never set properly and now she would have to have a more intensive surgery. So long story short, we find a great orthopaedic surgeon in SA, and two surgeries and 3 pins later… we were keeping a close eye on the growth of her wrist. Praying she wouldn’t be in the 3-5 percentile that can experience the growth plate “dying” or being “closed” after a surgery like this. Three months before we left on furlough, we found out that she was indeed in the 3-5 percentile and a part of her growth plate was “closed”…which basically means the Radius wasn’t growing at the same speed as the Ulna bone, and if left alone could cause a slew of problems and pain.

After her first x-ray and cast.

After her first surgery in 2015

Here is the update: the distance between the two bones is getting longer. So she is going to have a third surgery, in April, to surgically lengthen the bone.

two weeks ago, after just finding out she would have to have a third surgery

We have prayed fervently and desperately for supernatural healing of Hannah’s wrist, knowing that nothing is impossible with Him. Yet, she is scheduled for a third surgery in less than 3 weeks.

What does this mean? That God didn’t hear our prayers? That we should stop praying for supernatural healing? How can God love us if He allows us to go through pain?

As a mom, there are many times that I have said “no” to a certain request or have set certain boundaries or rules for our kids. Often times, they want to know why, and sometimes I tell them why, but other times I say, “You’re just going to have to trust me”. Trust, that I love you and want what’s best for you. Trust me, even though you may not understand.

Trust Me!

That is what God is saying to us. Trust Me! Trust Me, even though you may not understand My reasons. Trust Me, even though this is not what you would have chosen. Trust Me, that nothing can separate you from My love. Trust Me, I want to make you more like Me. Trust Me, I want to use you to bring honor and glory to My name. Trust Me, that truly nothing is impossible with Me. Trust Me, no matter the outcome, I Am in it.

I choose to Trust Him.

The Creator of the Universe. The Great I AM. The Alpha and Omega. The Sovereign One.

I will choose to trust Him because not only have I read about His attributes, His character, His supernatural power and never-ending love for us, in the Word of God and believe it to be true. I have also experienced who He is through the divorce of my parents, the death of my youngest brother, moving to the other side of the World and countless other ways.

He is faithful.

He is trustworthy.

His ways are perfect.

So we will continue to pray for supernatural healing, knowing that He is a God who hears our prayers and nothing is impossible with Him. However, more than anything, we pray that He continues to build our faith, to refine us and make us more like Him and no matter the outcome, we want to bring honor and glory to His great Name.

We will choose to Trust.

You keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. -Isaiah 26:3-4